Today's post is pretty personal so hopefully no one is too judgmental when reading it. Thanks!
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I took my daughter to the dentist for the first time last week. She fell asleep on the way there and stayed asleep until we went to meet the dentist.
A couple months ago, we noticed some yellowing on my daughter’s top 4 teeth that looked stuck on. My thought was that it was fluoride damage because that’s what happened to husband’s front teeth when he was younger due to too much fluoride in the water. I tried to prepare for the worst - her having to get her teeth pulled. Luckily it hasn’t come to that yet, but the dentist said those are cavities. Of course I felt like a bad mom, and he was super nice about everything. From what I told him (she nurses a lot, has a pacifier, usually just drinks water, sometimes milk, rarely juice, drinks from a cup/not a sippy, rarely has fruit snacks, we try to brush her teeth but she mostly chews on the tooth brush, etc.) he said that Kaelyn probably has some enamel abnormalities (due to some white white spots he saw on her teeth), that with nursing so much at night led to the cavities. I tried not to cry in front of him, but I did tear up slightly just because one I felt like a bad mom or at least that’s what people will think when I say my daughter has 4 cavities, and two because I knew she would have to be put under.
He told me that he has 5 kids of his own and 2 were colicky…he wouldn’t tell his wife to stop nursing in the middle night either because you need to be able to function and take care of other members of your family too. He explained lots of other things too and took his time with me. He was very very nice. I wish I had known about coming to a pediatric dentist before. Our dentist doesn't like taking kids until they're 2-3. I thought you only went to a pediatric dentist if there were issues.
He recommends putting crowns on my daughter’s cavities unless the damage is too great already once they get a better look, then her teeth will have to be pulled. To do the crowns, she’ll have to be put under because it’s way too long for her to sit still even though she did so awesome letting them look at her teeth!
I was really surprised she didn’t cry at all. She isn’t so nice to us when we try to check her teeth at home. Also she had just woken up from her nap so I was surprised she wasn’t more nervous and wanting to be held.
Because she is only 22 lbs., most likely we’ll have to go to the hospital for the procedure. Or try to get her to gain 3 lbs. by November 1st when they can do the in house procedure. She hasn’t gained much weight at all. She’s gained about 1.8 lbs. since her first birthday almost 5 months ago. She gained that much at 13 months and since then has remained about the same.
This all just stresses me out of course because that’s just how I am. I’m trying not to blame myself, but I do somewhat. I wish I was stronger or needed less sleep so I wouldn’t nurse her so much at night. I’m just so tired all the time trying to keep with everything. Maybe if we had family around, then I could have them babysit more so it would be easier to wean her. Have someone else take her at night time for a night or two. Maybe if we had a better job where we didn’t have to have government help or money didn’t have to be so tight every day, then I wouldn’t try so darn hard to do so many things like teaching “preschool,” scrapbooking/crafting to sell to others, selling oils/having classes on the oils so we can have money to pay for things like preschool, new clothes, diapers, pull-ups, garbage bags, TP, detergent, fun things, dates, etc.
What if’s, what if’s. I should be at least grateful that we are a family who loves each other, and we have the gospel, but it doesn’t make it easy. For those who read this, all I ask is that you pray that everything goes well, that my daughter will be alive and well after it’s all said and done.
This girl has given me trouble since she was in my uterus. Lots of learning opportunities and experiences to share with others though right. I wish I knew what to do with this girl sometimes. I threw up tons with her in the beginning of my pregnancy, she was super super low, almost made her daddy pass out during her birth, RSV, never has slept through the night, and now needs to be put under to get crowns on her 4 cavities because she won’t quit nursing. I’m nervous about what the future will bring, but I sure love this girl, but it definitely does not make me want anymore kids until she’s at least 3 – maybe not until she’s 5 now! =)
Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8
7 My son,
apeace be unto thy soul; thine
badversity and thine afflictions shall be but a
csmall moment;
8 And then, if thou
aendure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy
bfoes.
I’m really trying to “endure it well,” all these trials especially that of money, but some days are much harder than others. I need to not try and stress because my health has been a concern to me since they did that EKG and found some severe areas on my back are affecting my heart and my digestive area - both areas where my mom has had issues as well and has surgery and medication for.
Anyway, today I went for my yearly appointment with my doctor and explained all my health concerns. Everything looks fine and good right now, but if I experience any issues, just to call and they can run some further testing. It was good to get that done with.
Another thing we talked about is going back on birth control. I went off it because we just don't have the money for it (we've just been using condoms - sorry if TMI). This pill is cheaper and will dry up my milk which could be really helpful though I started to cry after my appointment feeling bad that I'm taking more drastic measures to stop my daughter from nursing. I just don't know what to do because after she gets her crowns, I don't want her to get more cavities with the continued nursing. Hopefully the process will help her and essentially me so we can both get better sleep.
I share this with my readers just for some positive thoughts to help get through it all. Thanks!
