I used to always want 5-6 children....still did after my first....but now maybe 3-4. I believe that we're meant to have at least one more child, but we won't be trying until our 2nd is almost 3 so that they'll be at least 3 years apart. We tried for our 2nd when our first was at least 18 months so that they'd be close to 2 1/2 years apart. Maybe I'll feel differently in a couple years, but for now that's how I feel.
Some might read this and be shocked and want to judge me for not wanting lots of kids. I would love lots of kids, but my 2nd pregnancy was so tough for me that I don't think my body can handle having a lot of kids. My first pregnancy was a breeze; I thoroughly enjoyed it. My 2nd was pretty good up until the last month when I was in so much pain that it was hard to walk. I had to be on slight bed rest. The delivery was painful too.
Since having my 2nd, my eyes have been open to how much we judge each other especially in LDS communities where so many people have lots of kids. In my ward, one family has 10 kids and some others have 6+. For them they can handle being pregnant with that many, but others they struggle to have more for many different reasons. We don't know everything going on in their lives so we shouldn't judge instead try to think why that might be.
If for some reason, I couldn't have any more children, I'd be very happy with my 2 - maybe because I have a boy and a girl or because my 2nd pregnancy was rough for me. I know if I couldn't have any more after my first, I would have been devastated.
What amount of kids do you feel is right for your family? How did you come to that decision?
Link up your Mommy Moments/thoughts, kids stuff.
2 comments:
i never compare myself to other people anymore...i use to but it wares on you. after i had my first i knew i would wait a while, we had our second 3 years later...and everyone else was having their kids 2 years apart but after i had my first i knew that wasn't for me. after i had my 2nd i thought i'd have another one closer, but once she was here she was a DIVA and i knew i would wait even longer before having another one (if i even wanted another at all!) and so we just had our 3rd and he came 4 years later. the 3rd pregnancy was the hardest on my body, it really hurt and i think my body got to a little bit of a breaking point. i know that i want one more and i think that will be it for me. i'm already dreading the pains of pregnancy but i feel like there is one more baby in our future. having babies is so personal to your family that you can't compare to others. i have a neighbor that just had her 5th and i am so impressed with her and she is a great parent and they are all around 2.5 years apart...but that's just not me but i'm glad that it's for someone! :)
I would certainly hope that no one would ever look down on your for not wanting a lot of kids. It's such a personal choice and there are a lot of factors to be considered. While I would personally love lots of kids in theory, the reality is my body just can't handle repeated pregnancies. I have two and like you one of each. I still feel like I was meant to have one more but I am older than you and have a chronic illness. I may not actually be able to have any more, this last pregnancy was really rough on my body and I'm still not back to normal. Part of being a loving and responsible parent is trying to do all you can to be around for the ones you have.
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